Dear Lady Dazzleton,
I am in receipt of your Valentine missive. It would truly be an honor to be yours, but
alas, I am afraid it would be a long-distance affair…I mean, a long-distance
relationship (I would not presume to assume any scandalous ideas, after
all). If you are willing to overlook the
tiny detail of the thousands of miles between us, I wholeheartedly bestow upon
you my fondest thoughts and wish you to be mine as well.
Sincerely and with admiration from afar,
Yours Truly,
A.T.
Mr. A.T.Water, Esquire
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