You Talking To Me? You Talking to Me?

I have to confess, I've actually never seen Taxi Driver. I mean, it came out when I was a kid.  And my parents weren't (and still aren't) movie fans. There was a family rule that no one (maybe it was just me and not my older brothers) could see a movie before my parents saw it and approved of it. This was before the days of PG-13. So it was either a G movie (which I would most likely be able to see) or PG (which was more up in the air...what exactly would be showing up on the screen could be all over the place).

So you can imagine my movie-going was severely limited. And certainly did not include Taxi Driver.

But I couldn't help but think of this iconic scene when I was thinking about repetition in manuscripts:

He repeats several lines here, most famously: "You talking to me? You talking to me?"

There are times when repetition works in a scene. If DeNiro didn't repeat himself here (in a scene that apparently was more off the cuff than on a script page), it wouldn't have such a lasting impact in the film world and be so recognizable.

So writers are well within their rights to have repetition in a scene. Even in a few sentences close together. After all, that's sometimes how people talk.

But other times, it seems as if the writer had forgotten the character had already said that. That's especially true when it's information (Bob's my uncle; have you met Bob, my uncle?) as opposed to a reaction (Oh my God. I can't believe he left. Oh my God. He's gone?).

And there's times I catch exact wording a few paragraphs apart. Those instances make me wonder whether there was some self-editing going on and the repetition didn't get caught.

So if you've gotten a manuscript back from me (or any other editor) asking about repetition, we do recognize it can be an effective storytelling tool. But hey, it's our job to make sure you're telling your story, not getting stuck in Groundhog Day!

Call Me

When you call someone in 2019, it's more likely than not that at least one of you will not be using a  landline, if not both of you.

Or, alternatively, you could be on what some people consider to be the most evil thing ever invented: a conference call!

But what to call those non-landline devices that we seemed to be glued to? It can take a picture, record a video, take you to the internet, has game apps that will keep your toddler (or bored teenager) out of your hair for five minutes, and, in some instances, has actually been used to place a phone call to someone!

In wonderful English language tradition (can you hear the sarcasm there?), it's either a smartphone (one word) or a cell phone (two words). Merriam-Webster has the same basic device with two different approaches: a one-word and a two-word form.{Yes, I know...some will call it a mobile phone.}

Does it make a huge difference if you used cellphone and smart phone instead? Probably not...the reader would still know what you mean. But it should at least be consistent in your manuscript. (And if I am lucky enough to read through your manuscript, it'll be cell phone or smartphone, just like Merriam-Webster likes it!).

My Fairy Tale Has A Fairy-Tale Ending

Come closer, child, and hear the wondrous tale I have for you.

Okay, I don't have a tale.  But if you are looking for a list of fairy tales, Wikipedia has got you covered.  I was kind of surprised to see The Wonderful Wizard of Oz listed as a fairy tale but Jack and the Beanstalk and Little Red Riding Hood was more what I was expecting.

But today's blog post is about fairy tales.  Well, actually, it's about hyphenation, but fairy tales are more fun, right?



And it's Valentine's Day, so some of you curmudgeonly types may think love stories are fairy tales, but us die-hard romantics believe! But if you are looking for a new twist on the fairy tale, check these out:

Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs

Rapunzel

Red Riding Hood

Sleeping Beauty

These are super fun fairy tales, very quick and with a bit of a bite. There are several more available and more planned.

Another series to follow the fairy tale format is Laurie LeClair's Once Upon A Romance series. The series starts with the three King sisters and their happy-ever-afters.

Fairy tale is a noun, by the way (remember, this post is about fairy tales writing editing hyphenation, so back to business!). Yes, nouns can sometimes be two words.  (And as a noun, it's two separate words.)  "Read me this fairy tale," says the little girl in her annoying singsong voice.  

When it's an adjective, it's hyphenated: Everyone wants their fairy-tale ending. 


That little hyphen does such a big job: it changes how a word should be used. Sometimes it goes from the noun form (fairy tale) to adjective (fairy-tale ending). Sometimes it goes from the noun form (a jump start) to the verb form (we had to jump-start the car). Sometimes it goes form the verb form (we lifted off) to the noun form (after lift-off, we enjoyed the ride). And when it's missing, sometimes our brains can get caught in trying to decipher what was meant: there's a difference between the man operated machines and the man-operated machines.


Welcome to the English language, where nothing is simple. 

And Happy Valentine's Day!

(I couldn't resist these geeky Valentine's cards, so enjoy!)

Nodding...Shrugging...Blinking

No, that's not me trying to stay awake. It's me wondering why extra body parts are involved in those actions. Okay, maybe not extra body parts, but extra words.


Take, for instance, nodding. 
Is there any other body part that nods besides your head?

Nope.  

Can you shrug anything but your shoulders? (That's not counting shrugging a coat on or shrugging a shirt off)

Leo's got a shrug AND a nod going on here...

Can you blink anything but your eyes?

In these cases, her/his/my head, her/his/my shoulders, and her/his/my eyes act as filler words.  They aren't (generally) necessary for the reader to know what is going on. Maybe I should call them killer words, because I'm going to kill those little darlings for you. (Well, if I'm copyediting.  If I'm proofreading, I will just suffer silently.)

Not Every Why is a Question

I can hear my grade school teacher's voice talking about the 5 W's: what, who, where, when, and why.  (And just for fun, there was the accompanying H: how.) And her voice tells me that those are all questions that need to be answered.

So, one might think that every time you use one of those in a sentence, you are actually asking a question...and questions need question marks, right? Wrong. Well, right, really, but there's always some sneaky things going on to make things confusing.

And that confusion almost always happens with wondering: I wonder why; she wondered when; he wondered who.

Let's play with some samples, shall we?

ORIGINAL: The cat curled up tighter on my lap. A steady purr filled the quiet of the room. Without warning, the cat jumped straight in the air and landed on my bare legs, claws out and tail all bushed up in fright. I wondered why he did that?

That last sentence has the wrong punctuation at the end. It should be a period. The subject of the sentence is I; the verb is wondered; the rest is a description of what was pondered. But overall, the sentence is a declarative sentence, not a question - so no question mark for you!

OPTION 1: The cat curled up tighter on my lap. A steady purr filled the quiet of the room. Without warning, the cat jumped straight in the air and landed on my bare legs, claws out and tail all bushed up in fright. Why did he do that?

With a quick change of wording, we now have an actual question: why did he do that? The reasoning to put it in italics is to indicate internal thought, so the I wondered is now implied; the reader will assume it's the narrator (or the character in the book) having this thought or internal conversation (I know I'm not the only one who talks to myself...admit it - you do, too!). 

OPTION 2: The cat curled up tighter on my lap. A steady purr filled the quiet of the room. Without warning, the cat jumped straight in the air and landed on my bare legs, claws out and tail all bushed up in fright. I wondered: Why did he do that? What would have caused such a reaction?

In this example, the use of I wondered and the colon gives the writer the opportunity to ask a series of questions...and real questions get question marks, so it's okay to use them in this type of structure. And each question starts with a capital letter (Chicago Manual of Style 6.61: When a colon introduces two or more sentences…the first word following it is capitalized.)



ORIGINAL: The dining room table was cleaned. Well, except for the two place settings, pillar candles, and the small vase of roses. She wondered when he had found time to get the flowers?

As in our first example, the noun (She) and verb (wondered) are easy to spot; the rest of the sentence is a description of what she wondered about. So the ending punctuation should simply be the period (period, no questions!).

But we could also modify it to become an actual question:

OPTION 1: The dining room table was cleaned. Well, except for the two place settings, pillar candles, and the small vase of roses. When he had found time to get the flowers?

Or create a statement:
OPTION 2: The dining room table was cleaned. Well, except for the two place settings, pillar candles, and the small vase of roses. He obviously found time to get the flowers.


ORIGINAL: He wondered who ate his apple pie?

In this very simple situation, it's the same as before: the noun (he) and verb (wondered) are easy to spot. And again, it should have a period at the end, not a question mark. If you want to keep that question mark (maybe you are emotionally attached to it...I make no judgements [well, maybe I do]), here are some options:

OPTION 1: Who ate my apple pie? Bob looked at Faith.  Surely she knew I wanted that last piece.

OPTION 2:  Someone ate his pie; he wondered who would have done such a thing.

(Yes, Faith would have eaten that last piece of apple pie--it's one of her vices! So stop wondering and stop using question marks when you don't need to!)

Pass the Eggcorn, Please!

Yum...eggcorns.  I love'em - don't you? Oh wait, do you even know what an eggcorn is?

When an egg meets that special acorn it's been waiting for (oops...I've been reading too many romances lately - sorry about that!).  Actually, it's a word or phrase that sounds like and is mistakenly used in a seemingly logical or plausible way for another word or phrase either on its own or as part of a set expression.  Maybe you've seen my previous posts (here and here), but eggcorns continue to fascinate me.

There's the list on Wikipedia you can look at (I've seen for all intensive purposes instead of for all intents and purposes but I have yet to see on the spurt of the moment instead of on the spur of the moment - thank goodness!). But it's rather short.

For more fun with eggcorns, you can check out the Eggcorn Database.

Apparently 2015 was the year of the eggcorn, because that's the year Merriam-Webster added it to its dictionary and everyone was writing about it: NPR asked their listeners to submit their favorite eggcorns and settled on the top 100 .

And Time magazine's contribution on the subject mentioned one of my favorites: the you've got another thing coming taking the place of you've got another think coming. (That one is actually on my style sheet setup, I've seen it so often!)

So what eggcorns have you served up lately? Or which ones have you come across on the wild, wild Web?

Your Editor is an Idiot

Okay, maybe your editor isn't an idiot, but I wouldn't be surprised if someone...occasionally...might think so.

I belong to the EFA (that's the Editorial Freelancers Association to you - not to be confused with Essential Fatty Acid or Egyptian Football Association or European Film Academy). A benefit of joining this association is the online discussion list, where editors go to ask questions of one another and once in a while, share funny stories or general chit-chat.

Just to give you an idea about what we talk about, in the past two days, there have been 19 emails (and counting) debating whether half-eaten (with the hyphen) or half eaten (without the hyphen) is correct usage in a particular sentence. 

These are my people, people.

So what does this have to do with your editor being an idiot?  Well, when editors (or me, at least) make suggested changes to a manuscript, we are doing it with a voice inside our head (and you writers thought you were the only ones with voices telling you what to do, huh?).  We I automatically know what something should be (capitalize the South when you are talking about the area of the country but keep it lowercase if you are going south on the highway) or what it possibly should be ( the author probably means to have the character exit the door, not excite it - because, really - yuck!).  But there are times when we I are just not sure, so we I ask: did you mean Where we going or Where are we going here?  In this instance, the dialogue could go either way; after all, sometimes people do just ask Where we going and not Where are we going - so is it a deliberate choice by the author or is it a missed word in the sentence?  

And I suppose it is possible...just possible...that you think your editor is an idiot for even asking the question, because the answer is so obvious (well, to you, anyway).  But we are the ones who obsess over whether or not to hyphenate half eaten so you don't have to.

Just deal with our idiot questions...we'd rather look like idiots in front of you than have you look like idiots in front of your readers.

Semicolons: Friend or Foe?

I love the semicolon. 

There, I said it.  I know some don't (ahem, Ms. Tameri) but they serve a purpose. I love the Oatmeal's take on using semicolons. Here's what the Chicago Manual Of Style has to say about semicolons:

CMOS 6.54: 

Use of the semicolon

In regular prose, a semicolon is most commonly used between two independent clauses not joined by a conjunction to signal a closer connection between them than a period would.

She spent much of her free time immersed in the ocean; no mere water-resistant watch would do.

Though a gifted writer, Miqueas has never bothered to master the semicolon; he insists that half a colon is no colon at all.

This is the most common usage I see; the close connection that is needed for some sentences is best served by the semicolon, not a comma or a period.

CMOS 6.55:

Semicolons with “however,” “therefore,” “indeed,” and the like

Certain adverbs, when they are used to join two independent clauses, should be preceded by a semicolon rather than a comma. These transitional adverbs include however, thus, hence, indeed, accordingly, besides, therefore, and sometimes then.  A comma usually follows the adverb but may be omitted if the sentence seems just as effective without it.

The accuracy of Jesse’s watch was never in question; besides, he was an expert at intuiting the time of day from the position of the sun and stars.

Kallista was determined not to miss anything on her voyage; accordingly, she made an appointment with her ophthalmologist.

The trumpet player developed a painful cold sore; therefore plans for a third show were scrapped.

This example is a little less common in most of the manuscripts I see.  But when I do see this, I check for the length of the sentence; sometimes I suggest splitting up the clauses to make it easier for the reader.

CMOS 6.56:

Semicolons with “that is,” “for example,” “namely,” and the like

A semicolon may be used before expressions such as that is, for example, or namely when they introduce an independent clause.

Keesler managed to change the subject; that is, he introduced a tangential issue.

Again, not a very common usage I see, but good to know.

CMOS 6.57: 

Semicolons before a conjunction

Normally, an independent clause introduced by a conjunction is preceded by a comma. In formal prose, a semicolon may be used instead—either to effect a stronger, more dramatic separation between clauses or when the second independent clause has internal punctuation.

Frobisher had always assured his grandson that the house would be his; yet there was no provision for this bequest in his will.

Garrett had insisted on remixing the track; but the engineer’s demands for overtime pay, together with the band’s reluctance, persuaded him to accept the original mix. 

I really appreciate the semicolon's ability to make a strong, dramatic separation in addition to giving closer connections.  It's so versatile! 

CMOS 6.58: 

Semicolons in a complex series

When items in a series themselves contain internal punctuation, separating the items with semicolons can aid clarity. If ambiguity seems unlikely, commas may be used instead.

The membership of the international commission was as follows: France, 4; Germany, 5; Great Britain, 1; Italy, 3; United States, 7.

The defendant, in an attempt to mitigate his sentence, pleaded that he had recently, on doctor’s orders, gone off his medications; that his car—which, incidentally, he had won in the late 1970s on Let’s Make a Deal—had spontaneously caught on fire; and that he had not eaten for several days.

but

She decided to buy three watches—an atomic watch for travel within the United States, a solar-powered, water-resistant quartz for international travel, and an expensive self-winding model for special occasions.

Ah, those complex sentences!  Anything to make the meaning clear is a good thing!

So, don't fear the semicolon.  Don't dismiss it, either!

Inquiring Minds Want to Know